A love story, with whiskers and wings

I met the love of my life in my second year of college when I answered an advertisement in the paper. It was a Thursday, and I decided we could meet that weekend. Of course, I didn't expect too much; I knew I wanted to be involved in some aspect but I was keeping my options open. I also had a roommate to consider and knew the impact this may have. I went to school full time and worked a few jobs, I didn't have much downtime. But all the same, I knew something was missing.

I walked into his house, and I think I knew, even at that first meeting, that my life would never be the same. It would be divided into a before and an after. He was cute and smart. I could tell from the first few minutes we were together that he had a great personality. Those soulful eyes and gentle touch. He melted into my arms, and I felt the “you know when you know” that this was my person.

OK, so he wasn't technically a person. But I defy you to interview anyone that knew him and didn't think he was a complete soul.

Sebastian Michael Davies. Sebastian because I was still a Disney fanatic, and he needed a bit of a pompous name. In fact, in the years that followed, it became quite clear he was an older British man reincarnated as a furry and feisty kitten who washed his hands in his water bowl after he used the litter box, expected his favorite foods slightly warmed, and always had his spot on the sofa. He loved taking baths with you. Literally. In the tub. He would wait by the shower because he wanted to be picked up just as you were getting out, running late to class or work, and carry him around as you frantically tried to get ready. He wasn't concerned with the schedule, more that you gave him his due. He was very small for his age and it wasn't until he was around two years old that he grew at all. Those were some awkward teen photos.

Sebastian and I moved around a bit, as one does for college. We ended up on a 6 day road trip out to our new school in California. He laid on the front seat of my Geo Storm the whole way. I played Enya on my detachable face CD car stereo. I stopped to get McDonalds hamburgers for him. I am a vegetarian. We got stuck in Iowa for two days when a huge snowstorm hit and watched television in a motel room while we waited it out. When we finally made it to our place, he introduced himself to the neighbors, made friends with the cow next door, and the deer that would wander into the parking lot. He would even interact with the raccoons that wandered the property. I may have had a few heart attacks witnessing that. Sebastian spent his days watching birds, waiting for attention from residents on the front step, and filling my life.

I never left Sebastian. If I went somewhere for a weekend, he went too. I visited a friend in San Francisco one weekend, and he incredulously asked if I was really bringing my cat for an overnight trip. We aren't friends anymore. As he got older, Sebastian began to get a little carsick on our trips. Medicine, check. Leave him at home? Absolutely not. And then, of course, I would fly back home to Michigan a few times a year. Summer break, Christmas. We took a tiny plane from Arcata to San Francisco. Another plane from San Francisco to Chicago. A third plane to Grand Rapids or Kalamazoo. Sometimes, we even had four plane rides to get through. Long layovers, weather delays, we had each other. And on every ride, every time, he went under the seat in front of me. He loved Doritos, and that would be his airplane food. Most people were kind; if there was an empty seat, I would put him in it. I would open the top of his cage, and people would say hello as they walked by. He would just sit and observe. It was just another day for us.

After college we moved to Oregon and settled into our new home and our new life. Our sister moved in with us, and then, boy, did we have a big family! One dog, 4 cats, 2 guinea pigs, 1 bird, 2 ferrets, one hamster, and a partridge in a pear tree. Sebastian got along with everyone. He was the patriarch of the family of critters, and the younger animals looked at him as such. It wasn't just them. When Sebastian was out, he didn't elicit the same reactions in other animals that one would expect. Dogs walked by the confident cat; other cats looked and then deferred without any altercation. Just like when he made friends with the cows, raccoons, and deer during college, he had a way about him with all other animals. In fact, I came home one day to find the neighbor's wolf was loose and on my porch, with Sebastian debating his next move. I'm fully convinced Sebastian was able to communicate with him, “Look old chap, my mum is a bit off the rails, she will certainly retaliate in a most unpleasant manner if anything is to happen to me so let's call it a day and part friends, eh?”.

As time went on, I continued to take Sebastian to most places I went. If it just became too much, I would leave him for a night or two, but then, honestly, I would rarely go. He was my family. As I ventured into wildlife rehab, Sebastian got to meet so many wild critters. He took everything in stride, but that's not to say he didn't voice his opinions on the new additions. Getting so frustrated with the crow pulling his tail. Running away from the baby raccoon that just wanted to cuddle. But now his body was slowing down and he was getting more tired, taking fewer trips outside, spending more time laying in the sun.

As he aged, he ate whatever he wanted, from wherever he wanted. Ice cream for dinner, you got it. Smoked salmon tonight, love? I had to give him fluids a few times a week, and he submitted to them with as much grace as he could muster. His thick fur thinned, his skin became dusty, and his body began to shrink. His accidents were more frequent, and for about a year, there wasn't a single day I didn't wake up with something to clean. But I knew him. And I Knew he would tell me when it was enough.

One Sunday morning, I walked into my bedroom, saw him walking out to the sun porch, and followed him. He turned around, saw me, and said, “Enough. This is enough.” I heard his plea and I never gave thought to what I would do without him. I simply knew it was time. I immediately called his vet and took him in. His favorite nurse was there; they all knew him well. I held him and said goodbye. I thanked him for all of our years together, I told him how much I would miss him. Then, I cried harder and begged him to come back to me. Let me know you again. Please come back to me.

I had him cremated and brought his ashes home. I set his ashes in his bed, above where he ate, with a picture of him as a little kitten next to them. I knew I needed to have him present more, and when I started doing stained glass, one of my projects was a large window of angel wings. I ended up using his ashes in the grout, filling the spaces between the wings. I reflected on how he made his way into all the little parts of my life, filling them, even when I didn't know they were empty. As the wings hang in the sun, he is warm, in the arms of an angel and I get to see all the color he brought to my life.

There's no question in my mind that Sebastian is the love of my life. I am married with a beautiful child, and I would run in traffic for either of them. But, they are a different love. Sebastian and I spent 19 years together. From a tiny little puffball of hilarity to an old man with arthritis and attitude, Sebastian and I are forever in the halls of the great loves. I thank God I answered that advertisement many years ago. I thank God that he created a being that, in my darkest times, helped me to breathe. I thank God that I was able to learn about love from a little old British man, dressed up as a cat.

~Laura Angell